The Origin of my Pajamas: A Defense of the Footed Variety

Having graduated with a degree in Rhetoric, I like to think that I know a thing or two about persuasion.  For those of you who don't know what this subject is all about I will provide Aristotle's definition.  He says that rhetoric is "the ability, in each particular case, to see the available means of persuasion."

Because of my thorough knowledge of this subject I know that there are many ways to persuade and manipulate others into agreement.  An effective rhetorician would be able to easily see and use the various means, but a poor rhetorician will cause these methods to backfire.  (Perhaps my rhetoric failings are the reason I haven't been able to persuade employers to hire me.)


This brings me to my house (and pjs).  At night my roommates (some would say parents) like to keep the house at a temperature that is most suitable for arctic wildlife.  Because my body is not covered in a thick layer of well-insulated fur, I was generally cold at night, especially my feet.  I had been wearing socks to bed almost every night and losing precious hours of sleep needed for my long days of doing nothing and rarely blogging. 


When my parents (roommates) asked what I wanted for Christmas, I said that I didn't want much,, but that I did want footie pajamas because the temperature in the house is so cold at night.  Here is where the rhetoric was supposed to come into play.  I asked for the pajamas not because I wanted them, but because I wanted my parents to know that I was so cold at night that I was willing to wear a ridiculous outfit to bed.  They were supposed to say we don't want our son to look foolish, let's just turn the heat up a little bit.


Then this happens.

At first I was skeptical.  I thought footie pajamas were worn by people who want attention and won't grow up.  Even though I fit both these requirements, I still thought that wearing these pajamas was over the top and stupid.  Then I realized that they actually were the perfect solution.  I used to need 3 blankets and socks and was still very cold.  Now I have one blanket and I feel great!  The whole thing is like a giant Snuggie.  All environmentalists and Eskimos should wear   The only critique that I really have is the butt flap.  I don't know any adult that would really want to poop through the fabric slit.  A normal butt flap would be ok but I have a strange velcro butt slit.  It always pops open requiring me to wear underwear.

Standard

Slit

I'll let you know when I poop through them.