Far too often, people set their resolutions too high and then wind up disappointed. Let's face it, you aren't going to work out once a week. Only professional athletes and Kelly Ripa do that. That's why my resolutions are made easy so that I will accomplish them.
1. Create New Years Resolution Blog Post
2. Gain additional weight
3. Get out of bed every morning
4. Only laugh like Fran Drescher
5. Take more "me" time
6. Read Less
7. Refer to myself in the third person or get people to call me a cool nickname like "The Duke"
8. Don't return any phonecalls
9. Facebook more
10. Watch movies that I've previously seen and be surprised by the ending
11. Stop lying about knowing Tom Cruise or get to know Tom Cruise
12. Increase efforts to fund personal mission to Mars
13. Stop using the phrase, "Don't go there, girlfriend"
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