The Results of Months of Research

 
I haven't shared with anyone what research I have been conducting for the past few months.  I didn't want the word to spread within the scientific community about the remarkable discovery I was so close to unveiling.  The information below was researched by me using post-it notes and myself as a test subject.

After many months, I now know exactly how long a human can be unemployed until he or she will begin to wear sweatpants.

Since we all know that eventually an unemployed person will wear sweatpants, I set out to discover exactly how many days it would take for that person to wear sweatpants.  With the stress, boredom, and depression that goes along with an unemployed lifestyle, sweatpants become ideal.  The comfort, ease of putting on, and especially the room for weight gain makes sweatpants the best clothing option.

Initially I predicted that full sweatpantedness would be achieved in 6 months.  I beat my prediction by two weeks.  It took exactly 192 days and a 100% job rejection rate for me to put on sweatpants.

So what does this mean for society?  It means that when you see a person in sweatpants at Walmart or the library you know that person's story.  That person is unstable, and could go off at the tiniest annoyance.  They are tired of life beating them down  Be nice to people in sweatpants because at any moment any one of us is just 192 days away from wearing the same outfit.

I don't know why my sweatpants say this.