National Singles Week

Some of you may know we are right in the midst of National Singles Week, a week in which the pathetic among us are for some reason celebrated.  For this week, I think there should be a law against facebook profile pictures where the happy couple are enjoying each other in some way.  The only way couples should be in each others profile pictures is if it is American Gothic style and one of them is holding a pitchfork.

My girlfriend and I

Anyway, I bring this up because I did something that I don't really want to confess.  I wanted to have something to write about for this week so I joined a matchmaking website.  I thought it might give me some funny material (and give me the opportunity to find my future wives.)

I didn't join eHarmony or Match.com.  Instead I thought that I should join the site with the most comic potential.  Therefore I joined CougarLife.com, the "premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men."  I am a young man looking for a wealthy woman in her prime, to fund my habits and not nag me to get a job.

When you join Cougar Life, there are only a few things you need to do.  First, you need to identify whether you are a cub or a cougar and the age range that you are interested in.  (I was pretty surprised/disturbed that the automatic age range was 35-65.  I don't think 64 year olds are cougars.)

Then to create an account all you need is your age (I said I was 23), body type, location, and a user name.  After careful consideration I decided on a name that would give me a competitive edge but also described me as a human being.  Thus I selected Cougar_Hunter.  Unfortunately this was already taken so I had to settle for Cougar_Hunter57. 


Looking around at the different profiles, I found many different things.  User names varied among the women. Some were funny (curves4dayz), some were dirty (hotpieceofass30), and some were completely innocent (collielover42 unless this is something perverted.)  The pictures were also intriguing.  Some women looked like porn stars and others looked like my friends mothers.  Some were really good looking and I wonder when that particular picture was taken.  


I've only been on for a couple of days and I've already received two messages from 2 different users.  I find this interesting because they only know my age, height, location, and that I hunt cougars.  Unfortunately I have to pay $29 for three months of full access to read the messages.


Maybe if I get a job and they get a sitter I can take them out to TGIFridays.