Halloween Costume Tips

I trick or treated all the way until I was a senior in high school, not because I was a disruptive trickster or a pumpkin smasher.  I did it because I really enjoyed candy and dressing up.  More than dressing up though, I like the costume idea.  The idea is essential.  I always shoot for a unique costume, that follows three rules.

1.  No face paint or masks
Face paint requires skills and time, two things which are rare for me everyday, but especially on Halloween.  Paint also smudges and gets on clothes.  While masks provide a consistent excellent looking costume, you end up with a runny nose and no one can appreciate you because you could be anyone. (SIDE NOTE: Masks are great for after the big Halloween party when you are vandalizing your neighbors yard.  Or if you have a generally ugly face.)

The only exception to the face paint rule.

2.  Nothing Nice
I own two tuxedos, and the thought has definitely crossed my mind to wear one for an easy and attractive costume.  The occasion to wear a tux is rare so why not wear it for Halloween?  The problem is that by the end of the night your costume will be covered in one of the following: a) melted chocolate, b) vomit, or c) unknown greenish substance.  The dry cleaning bill and the confusion about the greenish substance is enough for me to say no to looking good.  (SIDE NOTE: This rule also applies to costly costumes.  I made the mistake of buying the officially licensed Austin Powers costume in 7th grade. Never again.)

Brad Pitt just doesn't get it.

3. Go to Jail Rule
Perhaps the most important rule is to ask yourself this question: if I go to jail in this costume, will I get shanked.  On a night of mischief and pumpkin wine, jail is a good possibility.  Do you want to be someone's bitch or not?  Follow the simple figure below.

There you go.  Hopefully these tricks and tips will will provide you with plenty of treats

*For girls costumes are simple: show everything but nipple.
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