Watching tv reminds me that there is an election coming up. Ads play during every commercial break, telling me how terrible, ruthless, and dishonest the other candidate is. It reminds me that I love this country.
Really, negative ads are the only thing that I like about politics. Some people call it "silly season" for politics, a time when we care more about whether someone is a witch or not instead of who actually agrees with us on the issues. I see negative ads as showing us who our politicians really are: spineless opportunistic weasels.
Every election we hear the same thing from our politicians. If they are new, they tell us that they will change Washington. They will fix the broken system. They will fight for the people and not corporate interests. They will create jobs. They will babysit the kids. They will cook you breakfast in bed. Unfortunately they are full of shit.
If they are running for reelection they talk about the two or three good things they did and say their work isn't done. They have a proven record of fighting for the people and not corporate interests. They created jobs. They babysat. They made scrambled eggs. They are also full of shit.
I have a theory about politics. The theory says that 95% of politicians are full of shit. Many get involved and are not full of shit at first. They have good intentions and want to help. But the more power and, even worse, more perceived power that a person has is directly proportional to how much they are full of shit. The more power or perceived power, the more shit.
Negative ads are when the politicians show us their true selves. The ads show us that politicians want us to like them so much, that they are willing to attack another person's reputation, values, and personal hygiene, without considering the fact that their opponents are human beings with families and feelings. Then after spewing hate in angry fonts and low voiced announcers they have the balls to say, "I approve this message."
"My opponent literally farted on the elderly in 1992 and has used your tax dollars to build illegal immigrant hooker mosques next to elementary schools. I'm Doug Wilson and of course I approve this message."
After negative ad season and the election, the winner heads to Congress to do very little and then get elected to do it all again. Enjoy this time of year while it lasts. Then on November 2nd go and vote for the meanest candidate.
I made this in high school and attacked Steve's bowling skills. In fairness, Steve still can't bowl.
I was just thinking about High School government ads when I saw this year's round of negative campaign ads. It's still funny.
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