I have recently come to the realization that there is no way to compliment a company on how much you appreciate their nuts without sounding insane or sick. The following letter was submitted to the Frito Lay company.
Dear Frito-Lay,
I am a recent graduate who recently has had quite a lot of time off for what I like to call an "extended indefinite summer vacation." It hasn't been a very exciting vacation for me as I haven't really gone anywhere but fortunately my taste buds experienced an extra special, all expenses paid trip to Delicious-Town courtesy of your nuts, specifically your Deluxe Mixed Nuts. I was at a gas station/Subway restaurant outside of Grinnell, Iowa and after enjoying a 6 inch Chicken Bacon Ranch Sub on Wheat bread, I found that I needed a little something extra. I scanned the aisles of the gas station but was disappointed with the selection. Frustration was setting in as the perfect companion to my sub was yet to be found. Just as I turned to leave my eyes settled on a rack displaying your nuts. I must admit that at first I was skeptical. I had seen the word "Deluxe" put on packages where the nuts clearly were not "deluxe" and some would even say mediocre at best. I also assumed that a nut was a nut and fancy packaging was the only thing that made these nuts special. I was wrong.
I know that I run the risk of sounding perverted or like this is some sort of joke but the following description is real and heartfelt. The first thing that I noticed and again, I am NOT a sex criminal, is the size of the nuts. In the past, I had purchased Eileen's mixed nuts, sold in southern Wisconsin, and your nuts, particularly the walnuts (or maybe they were pecans I'm not sure) and the Brazil nuts. I was certainly impressed and was now excited to enjoy them. When I bit them, they were also a lot easier to chew than other brands that I have tried. Sometimes almonds and Brazil nuts are tough to bite and hurt my teeth, but there was a softness to your nuts that surprised me. The most important thing to me, though, was the flavor, and they didn't disappoint. I couldn't believe it but for whatever reason, your nuts were the best I have ever had. I am used to purchasing and consuming plain unsalted nuts from the baking aisle at the grocery store and the idea of highly salted nuts was not appetizing. That is truly my only criticism. I would appreciate an unsalted version.
Regardless, of this minor problem they were truly worthy of the name "Deluxe" and were the best nuts that I have ever eaten.
Do they come in a larger package or can I somehow buy them in bulk? $1.99 for a small pouch is on the expensive side.
Thank for your product and I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Joe Barlow
I am a recent graduate who recently has had quite a lot of time off for what I like to call an "extended indefinite summer vacation." It hasn't been a very exciting vacation for me as I haven't really gone anywhere but fortunately my taste buds experienced an extra special, all expenses paid trip to Delicious-Town courtesy of your nuts, specifically your Deluxe Mixed Nuts. I was at a gas station/Subway restaurant outside of Grinnell, Iowa and after enjoying a 6 inch Chicken Bacon Ranch Sub on Wheat bread, I found that I needed a little something extra. I scanned the aisles of the gas station but was disappointed with the selection. Frustration was setting in as the perfect companion to my sub was yet to be found. Just as I turned to leave my eyes settled on a rack displaying your nuts. I must admit that at first I was skeptical. I had seen the word "Deluxe" put on packages where the nuts clearly were not "deluxe" and some would even say mediocre at best. I also assumed that a nut was a nut and fancy packaging was the only thing that made these nuts special. I was wrong.
I know that I run the risk of sounding perverted or like this is some sort of joke but the following description is real and heartfelt. The first thing that I noticed and again, I am NOT a sex criminal, is the size of the nuts. In the past, I had purchased Eileen's mixed nuts, sold in southern Wisconsin, and your nuts, particularly the walnuts (or maybe they were pecans I'm not sure) and the Brazil nuts. I was certainly impressed and was now excited to enjoy them. When I bit them, they were also a lot easier to chew than other brands that I have tried. Sometimes almonds and Brazil nuts are tough to bite and hurt my teeth, but there was a softness to your nuts that surprised me. The most important thing to me, though, was the flavor, and they didn't disappoint. I couldn't believe it but for whatever reason, your nuts were the best I have ever had. I am used to purchasing and consuming plain unsalted nuts from the baking aisle at the grocery store and the idea of highly salted nuts was not appetizing. That is truly my only criticism. I would appreciate an unsalted version.
Regardless, of this minor problem they were truly worthy of the name "Deluxe" and were the best nuts that I have ever eaten.
Do they come in a larger package or can I somehow buy them in bulk? $1.99 for a small pouch is on the expensive side.
Thank for your product and I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Joe Barlow
Here is the response I received (Click to enlarge):
I also received 3 coupons for 55 cents off of Frito Lay products.
I'm not a pervert.
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