Why I Believe That Woman Should Have the Right to Vote

In some ways, our society is quite advanced.  We have cell phones, iPads, and high fructose corn syrup right at our fingertips.  We also put a man on the moon and elected our first old vice president.  Despite these incredible triumphs of human spirit and food, woman’s voices remain unheard.  I think we should allow women to vote.

Currently, women’s voices are heard in very few places: the kitchen, the laundry room, and daytime talk shows.  Occasionally, women will let others know if they think that top is cute.  That’s about it.  Quite frankly, this is not enough, and women deserve better.  

I know this is a tough argument to make.  Looking back on history, we can see that many of the great minds were, in fact, men.  Thomas Jefferson, Bill Gates, and Eleanor Roosevelt are just a few male thinkers who have changed the world.  Whilst this is true, we also need to consider another thing: Adolf Hitler, Sadam Husein, and Tony Danza were also men.  As you can see, I made a list of three good men and then an equal length list of three evil men.  This simply proves that any argument presented in list form must be thrown away.

This brings me to my second argument.  Despite overwhelming scientific evidence that men’s brains are bigger, this may not be true.  Quite frequently women outperform and consistently do better than me on Jeopardy.  As the world standard of intelligence, Jeopardy represents the peak of human knowledge.  I know Alex Trebek is a male but he is simply reading cue cards, and as Jay Leno has proven, even monkeys can do that.  Women also can generally do more pushups than me.

My final argument (and strongest point) for women’s voting rights is Julie Andrews.  If you have ever heard her voice in Mary Poppins or The Sound of Music then your heart has already melted.  The power of her voice has healed the sick and caused mountains to puke.  She inspires everyone who hears her to be a better person.  She also hangs out with some tough “Chim-un-ney” Sweeps.  This is why we need her on our side.  I cannot imagine the destruction and devastation that would occur if Julie Andrews suddenly became upset.  All I know is Julie Andrews needs to remain happy.  We can do this by allowing her and all women the right to vote.

In conclusion, women are just like men, except for their fondness of low fat yogurts.