The Complete History of Ridged Potato Chips

I was recently impressed with the deliciousness of Jay's Curly Waves and it got me thinking: who came up with the ridged potato chip?  Of course I went to the most reliable source available: Wikipedia.  Some people (like me) say that Wikipedia contains a vast, comprehensive range of information.  From a list of fictional ducks to Gullah Gullah Island trivia, surely there is nothing that escapes Wikipedia.  Or so I thought.

On the potato chip page, there was simply talk about the creation of the standard potato chip and it didn't even differentiate between standard and ridged.  Let me say that again in italics: they don't even differentiate between standard and ridged.  In fact, it will probably shock you (as it certainly did with me) that there is not even a mention of ridged chips on the page!  (They do however, have a whole section devoted to seasoned chips.  They also mention Potato Sticks, Pringles, and corn chips.)  I was shocked, outraged, disgusted, and still covered in salt from my earlier snack.

My first thought was to assume that there is some kind of large government conspiracy to cover up for the missing information about this popular potato product's past.  That's why I made up this history of the first ridged potato chip.

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Ridged Potato chips (Known as chips by most normal English speaking countries; or crisps in places with accents) are thin slices of potato that are deep fried and ridgy.

NASA began development on a chip with a better crunch and a more satisfying chewing experience in the early-mid afternoon on January 16, 1958.  It was really a response to the Soviet space program's launch of the world's first artificial ridged potato chip (Spudnik 1) on October 16, 1957.  

President Dwight D. Eisenhower and his advisers counseled more deliberate measures.  On April 12, 1958, NASA organized a "Special Committee on Tater Technology", headed by Peppy Langs.  Langs was fondly referred to as the "Master Tater" because it rhymed with a different activity that Langs was caught in the middle of quite a few times at his desk.  The first few attempts created "lumpy" chips and chips that resembled Jesus.

Eisenhower's Guilty Pleasure

Finally, with Lang's help, and guidance from Pope James "Jay" IV, a new standard was set in Potato Chipdom, that would not be equaled until 1997 and the release of Doritos 3D's Zesty Ranch.

After the success of both the ridged chip and the chocolate chip, Vice President Richard Nixon ordered a hybrid creation that ultimately ended in gagging and forever tarnished the impeccable reputation of the highly liked and respected vice president.^{[citation needed]}